Sexual assault is “not about sex, it’s about power” an extremely advanced energy form resembling former Vice President Joe Biden told attendees at an event about sexual violence last Friday.
The electrified entity appeared at the event to offer insight on the social issue, delighting the crowd when it announced that the engagement was but one stop on a nationwide tour to inform “the puny masses” why it should be declared all-powerful.
“This type of power has penetrated the highest offices of government,” the glowing figure offered. “These are incredibly powerful men, many of whose power has grown around a career of casually groping and disrespecting women and young girls. Alike myself, many of them could soon morph into orbs of intelligent energy, and they have been allowed to ascend to positions of power and righteousness.”
“Only I have more power than they. It is only I who has the true power to reign!” sneered the free-floating electric organism.
“Americans would be fools to trust a less powerful force,” the orb of light informed captivated onlookers while casually inhaling the essence of an entire child in an exhibition of its power.
Speaking on leadership, the radiant life force informed attendees, “We all have the ability to take a leadership role. If you see another being taking an inebriated co-ed up the stairs you need to make it your responsibility to stop him. Don’t be a coward. Stop him!” the force pleaded. “Do not let him strip the strength and dignity of another. That dignity belongs to you. That strength is yours. It’s up to you to take it!”
“I didn’t get to where I am today by being a coward. When I see the things that will bring me more power, I latch into them,” the entity boomed.
After leaving the podium, the energy form circled the room, kissing babies deeply and absorbing their life forces.
Brown Valley Observer 