“The way she made the violent crime rate go from 0.84% to 0.21% in no way prepared me for the way she then made that exact same crime rate raise and lower at will for the next 16 bars of the accompanying music.”
Scientists suggest you could get over your fear of clowns if you’d just suck one off
“Pulling down a clowns baggy trousers and accepting his penis into your warm, ready mouth is a very humanizing experience,” explains a leading expert on jester psychology.
Report: A Biden victory means liberals will get significantly less attention on social media
A study warns that a Biden victory in the 2020 election likely means liberal voters will receive less attention on social media, leading to adverse long-term psychological effects for many who have become reliant upon such attention.
Top doctors suggest giving Coronavirus information that could lead to Hillary Clinton’s arrest
Doctors believe that if the coronavirus has information which could lead to Hillary’s arrest, it will be contained quickly and mysteriously smother itself to death within months.
CDC: You have a better odds of having threesome involving Ron Jeremy than of dying from coronavirus
CDC: “A lot of precautions have been taken to prevent coronavirus from becoming widespread. But there seems to be nothing that can stop Ron Jeremy.”
95% of social scientists say you should be rooting for climate change
According to Dr, Randall Kirger, “It’s no longer an issue of believing in climate change or not, but instead a realization that hastening the end of human life could only benefit the planet. If I didn’t believe that the earth’s climate was warming at this point, I would invest the effort to find some way to make it do so.”