“Some people are calling me a dark horse candidate, but I consider myself the black corpse candidate!” O’Rourke announced before throwing up devil horns and hissing at the confused bystanders.
Category: US News
Soaking wet President Trump calls The Weather Channel “very fake news”
The president described his disgust and disappointment that NWS employees are put into a trusted position by average Americans, only to have them “lie and lie again, big league.”
Amid “hip” campaign reset, Elizabeth Warren admits she smoked peace pipe, listened to Huey Lewis in 1980s
Warren: “I understand what it’s like to be rebellious, wild and free, taking tokes off the old peace pipe while ‘Happy to Be Stuck With You’ carries you off into the the type of psychedelic wonderland that only Huey Lewis & the News can carry you off to.”
Georgia health bill targets total birth control ban including pills, pulling out, and loads-to-the-face methods
The newly proposed bill would effectively eliminate the sale of condoms, patches, sponges and diaphragms in the state, as well as placing penalty on the report or discovery of practices like pulling out, felching, and the loads-to-the-face and loads-to-the-tits methods.
Alex Jones believes he has found a way to reverse effects of chemicals that turn frogs gay
Alex Jones now believes that introducing “really hot lady frogs” into the ecosystem may be exactly what is needed to combat the effects of atrazine, a chemical known to cause coupling among male frogs.
Denver will celebrate decriminalizing magic mushrooms with biggest fucking laser fireworks display ever
In a session that lasted only 22 minutes, the wild-eyed and unkempt council members approved Amendment 306: Provide the Raddest Fucking Laser Fireworks Show Ever by a vote of 13-0.
