The report dooms those of us who were really, really relying upon such an event to lay waste to humanity on this stupid planet to continue waiting for global warming, nuclear winter, aliens, large kaiju-type monsters, or a meteoric event to mercifully wipe out mankind.
Jeez, would you just look at that sad, hurt little fella? It’s practically crying for assistance. Won’t somebody please help that poor injured pupper and just share the article already?
The report also determined that the stay-at-home crowd could potentially be better, more sensitive lovers than the “bar crowd” if they were just given the chance.
“They’ll swim in right up close to the beach and it’s like a buffet there for them. They seem to prefer smallish people, mostly children, because they see them as defenseless prey.”
While Facebook repeats “we’re not becoming a pay site, and all current Facebook amenities will remain available for free”, Facebook Features will add bonus pay options in 2020.
Harvard scientist: “Most fads fade, but dabbing has been persistent because dabbing is malleable. You can make your own variation of the pose, and it works so long as you still look like an asshole.”