The president described his disgust and disappointment that NWS employees are put into a trusted position by average Americans, only to have them “lie and lie again, big league.”
Alex Jones now believes that introducing “really hot lady frogs” into the ecosystem may be exactly what is needed to combat the effects of atrazine, a chemical known to cause coupling among male frogs.
Researchers believe the shrimp might stop testing positive for cocaine if local police were to develop a more environmentally friendly policy of leaving the meth supply intact.
The report dooms those of us who were really, really relying upon such an event to lay waste to humanity on this stupid planet to continue waiting for global warming, nuclear winter, aliens, large kaiju-type monsters, or a meteoric event to mercifully wipe out mankind.
Jeez, would you just look at that sad, hurt little fella? It’s practically crying for assistance. Won’t somebody please help that poor injured pupper and just share the article already?
The report also determined that the stay-at-home crowd could potentially be better, more sensitive lovers than the “bar crowd” if they were just given the chance.