Alicia, whose personal anti-nouns are sizzle and saunter, insists that saunter friends and classmates refer to saunter by saunter proper anti-nouns.
“The closest I’ve gotten to getting some tail was one night when our bassist Brad hugged me really hard when I was crying after one of the gigs.”
“I carried signs and shouted slogans, and after seeing someone doing it on TV, I found a black man and I washed his feet while pleading with him for forgiveness.
You’d think he’d say thank you, right?”
“I was positive this would be the year, but since that’s not the case, my best bet is to once again — and for the last time, I swear — vote for someone I do not support in any way, shape, or form, neither as a person nor as a policymaker.”
The allergy-suffering reporter told reporters that they’d get his work whenever he was “good and goddamn ready” and stated his desire to be alone before pushing his co-workers out of his cubicle and moving a file cabinet in front of the door.
“If years as a member of countless online social justice movements has taught me anything, it’s that you get a lot done by slandering people, even people entirely uninvolved in the decision making process and who may be directly and painfully affected by these laws.”