“Just in case there aren’t militias blowing each other to smithereens and fires raging in the city well into the night, we’ll want to congratulate Joe Biden on the amazing crowd he has, which will certainly be much bigger than the Trump crowd.”
Tag: joe biden
Georgia Trump supporter says he voted Biden 12,780 times “as a joke to test the system out”
A weedeater operations specialist from Bearslit says he “didn’t take the mail-in votes seriously” and claims he submitted thousands of ballots to prove his point.
20,000 US troops descend upon DC in anticipation of 2021 Toilet Paper Shortage Riots
“In a city that generates as much shit as DC, the toilet paper supply isn’t taken lightly,” one soldier told our reporter.
White House planning to hide valuable, pocket-sized items ahead of Hunter Biden visit
An appraisal business reportedly financed by Hunter Biden estimates that the total value of items to be hidden by White House staff is over $2.3 million at auction.
Callous police shooting of demonstrator mars mostly peaceful protests at US Capitol
The shooting puts a damper on the time-honored American tradition of offering tours of federal buildings to peaceful protest demonstrators.
Trump suggests closing Taco Bells, Chipotles ahead of looming U.S. toilet paper crisis
Thousands of teenage girls literally died when their friends found out they weren’t wiping properly during the first toilet paper crisis of 2020.
