The incident report indicates that Moats was crying and shouting “They’re stealing my president, now they done took my damn toe!”
“Just in case there aren’t militias blowing each other to smithereens and fires raging in the city well into the night, we’ll want to congratulate Joe Biden on the amazing crowd he has, which will certainly be much bigger than the Trump crowd.”
A weedeater operations specialist from Bearslit says he “didn’t take the mail-in votes seriously” and claims he submitted thousands of ballots to prove his point.
“In a city that generates as much shit as DC, the toilet paper supply isn’t taken lightly,” one soldier told our reporter.
The FEC reports that 71% of election officials — and 80% in swing states — failed to become certified in common-core ahead of the election despite new common-core counting methods.
A study warns that a Biden victory in the 2020 election likely means liberal voters will receive less attention on social media, leading to adverse long-term psychological effects for many who have become reliant upon such attention.