Daemen: “To those people whose parents cannot afford such luxury, I say: don’t be afraid to pick up that extra shift at Bojangles or that extra night of babysitting, and maybe you can afford to go to space all on your own someday.”
Tag: satire
Excited, child-like Jeff Bezos reportedly vomited cotton candy, funnel cake during Blue Origin ride
Bezos was seen an hour earlier giggling and hurriedly rushing from booth to booth eating all the carnival food in sight before boarding the $300,000-per-ticket space ride.
New Arkansas law to target instain mother who kill thier babbys
“We must take a stand for these babby becuse these babby can’t frigth back,” explained a press release from the 93rd Arkansas General Assembly.
Phil Anselmo (finally) apologizes for appropriating “Walk on, homeboy” in signature Pantera song
Many of Anselmo’s Facebook Top Fans seemed very supportive, and some shared stories of times that they, too, had encountered people of color in real-life situations.
20 shot in past week as Baltimore sees surge in coronaviolence, return to normalcy
Baltimore averages just a smidge over 300 homicides annually, which is peanuts compared to some cities whose names were not available at press time.
Barry Bonds reportedly checked his own pulse upon hearing that baseball’s Home Run King was dead
Bonds says he breathed a sigh of relief when he realized they were “only talking about Hank Aaron”.
