Bonds says he breathed a sigh of relief when he realized they were “only talking about Hank Aaron”.
Tag: satire
US ceremoniously takes The Boot away from Republicans, returns it to Democrats
The United States passed the ceremonial Boot on January 20, allowing Democrats the privilege of licking the same long-cherished symbol of American authoritarianism that Republicans have enjoyed licking for the past 4 years.
Local man reports 3 Doors Down tribute band not “Gateway to Cooze” he thought it would be
“The closest I’ve gotten to getting some tail was one night when our bassist Brad hugged me really hard when I was crying after one of the gigs.”
Local civil war prepper loses toe while cleaning grandaddy’s shotgun (Graphic)
The incident report indicates that Moats was crying and shouting “They’re stealing my president, now they done took my damn toe!”
Trump issues posthumous pardon to Jeffrey Dahmer; “People Dahmer killed were not so great”
Trump: “Mr. Dahmer should have remained free under the same type of justifiable homicide defense that often exonerates our boys in blue.”
CNN prepping “Biden had a bigger inauguration crowd” report on off-chance that there aren’t massive casualties
“Just in case there aren’t militias blowing each other to smithereens and fires raging in the city well into the night, we’ll want to congratulate Joe Biden on the amazing crowd he has, which will certainly be much bigger than the Trump crowd.”
