“I’ll remember from now on to keep Pfizer and Starbucks and Bank of America — companies I am confident have my best interests at heart — in my nightly prayers. God bless you, corporate sponsors!”
Warren: “I understand what it’s like to be rebellious, wild and free, taking tokes off the old peace pipe while ‘Happy to Be Stuck With You’ carries you off into the the type of psychedelic wonderland that only Huey Lewis & the News can carry you off to.”
Women in Congress have only had their own restroom in the US Capitol since 2011. Lately, it’s been a nightmare of used tampons and “hover method” usage.
“Some things have been done, and some things have been said, and some people have started saying I’m low class,” the performer lamented to the crowd.
“Well, I’m here to prove to my haters that I’m not Low Class Snowbama, I’m at least Middle Class Snowbama.”
2) Joe could get the DNC to pay Russians to prepare a dossier revealing dirty and embarrassing details against Trump and further throw shade on the possibility that Trump colluded with Russians.
Speaker Pelosi: “A buttplug with the letter R on it could have beaten Hillary Clinton. And by some estimations, that’s exactly what happened.”