The United States passed the ceremonial Boot on January 20, allowing Democrats the privilege of licking the same long-cherished symbol of American authoritarianism that Republicans have enjoyed licking for the past 4 years.
“I carried signs and shouted slogans, and after seeing someone doing it on TV, I found a black man and I washed his feet while pleading with him for forgiveness.
You’d think he’d say thank you, right?”
Despite binders full of women suddenly thinking Romney is the best thing since bayonets, recent polling indicates that as many as 47% of women say they are never going to support him.
“I’ll remember from now on to keep Pfizer and Starbucks and Bank of America — companies I am confident have my best interests at heart — in my nightly prayers. God bless you, corporate sponsors!”
Warren: “I understand what it’s like to be rebellious, wild and free, taking tokes off the old peace pipe while ‘Happy to Be Stuck With You’ carries you off into the the type of psychedelic wonderland that only Huey Lewis & the News can carry you off to.”
Women in Congress have only had their own restroom in the US Capitol since 2011. Lately, it’s been a nightmare of used tampons and “hover method” usage.