President Trump: “There’s something not entirely right about it, but my staff keeps reassuring me that the man is as trustworthy as they are.”
A White House source says President Trump is “winging it” today after sleeping through four alarms and missing “Fox & Friends”, generally considered the President’s morning briefing.
Cellphone video shows that US Attorney General William Barr was spotted outside of a Golden Corral restaurant in Largo, MD less than 3 hours before his scheduled 10am Congressional hearing.
“Even though I cannot swim, I would have jumped right in and used my brute strength to beat that stingray before he could harm such a beautiful man,” Trump told the amazed crowd.
“Donald Trump can’t save you! Your Gods can’t save you! Money can’t save you! You’re fucked! Fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked!”
Tanner, whose parents Phil and Margery own a popular lampshade gallery in Seattle, has formed a small collective to discuss race issues.