A panel of psychologists who’ve researched internet attention whoring have concluded that the average social media user will never miss the average of 3 “likes” that users get whenever that user is a C-cup or smaller.
“If you need someone who can whip a team of housewives into shape, I’m your man,” the former manager said in one of a series of Tweets addressed to Epstein.
A White House source says President Trump is “winging it” today after sleeping through four alarms and missing “Fox & Friends”, generally considered the President’s morning briefing.
Alex Jones now believes that introducing “really hot lady frogs” into the ecosystem may be exactly what is needed to combat the effects of atrazine, a chemical known to cause coupling among male frogs.
Alex’s new personal accounts appear under the names Schmalex Chones, Dallex Dones, and Olive Obama. He reports that his new Facebook page — Schminfowars — will be up and running by later today.
Trump reportedly told a staffer: “You’d think Mike would suggest Charlotte try an off-the-shoulder look or ask Audrey to show a little leg every once in a while, just for America’s sake.”