Rusty Gillespie, 45, was arrested on charges of wanton endangerment and criminal mischief after going on a “rimming spree” in NYC, a violation of NYC Health Department coronavirus guidelines.
CDC: “A lot of precautions have been taken to prevent coronavirus from becoming widespread. But there seems to be nothing that can stop Ron Jeremy.”
Spokesman D.R. Everend said “Clearly, we would have been more careful about the words we chose if we had only realized that people who did not find ISIS to be chock-full of dreamy superstuds with giant, throbbing, well-oiled members would be reading.”
Now when you send and receive dick pics on Snapchat, you’ll have the option to accompany that penis with fragrances like daisies and penis, honeysuckle and penis, Chanel No. 5 and penis and more!
I’m not saying it’s you. I’m just saying that this person looks exactly like you, has the same insightful opinions, the same infectious sense of humor, and the same pleasant sounding voice as you have.
Reader Landon Leibowitz describes how 1970s star Crystal Gayle gave him a new appreciation for today’s country music singers.