“The closest I’ve gotten to getting some tail was one night when our bassist Brad hugged me really hard when I was crying after one of the gigs.”
A hacker posted a series of photos suggesting an illicit affair between Melania Trump and a man believed to be Virginia newsman Randall Everend.
Rusty Gillespie, 45, was arrested on charges of wanton endangerment and criminal mischief after going on a “rimming spree” in NYC, a violation of NYC Health Department coronavirus guidelines.
CDC: “A lot of precautions have been taken to prevent coronavirus from becoming widespread. But there seems to be nothing that can stop Ron Jeremy.”
Spokesman D.R. Everend said “Clearly, we would have been more careful about the words we chose if we had only realized that people who did not find ISIS to be chock-full of dreamy superstuds with giant, throbbing, well-oiled members would be reading.”
Now when you send and receive dick pics on Snapchat, you’ll have the option to accompany that penis with fragrances like daisies and penis, honeysuckle and penis, Chanel No. 5 and penis and more!