Alex Jones now believes that introducing “really hot lady frogs” into the ecosystem may be exactly what is needed to combat the effects of atrazine, a chemical known to cause coupling among male frogs.
Researchers believe the shrimp might stop testing positive for cocaine if local police were to develop a more environmentally friendly policy of leaving the meth supply intact.
The report also determined that the stay-at-home crowd could potentially be better, more sensitive lovers than the “bar crowd” if they were just given the chance.
Harvard scientist: “Most fads fade, but dabbing has been persistent because dabbing is malleable. You can make your own variation of the pose, and it works so long as you still look like an asshole.”
Neil deGrasse Tyson, Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and Bill Nye held a forum to discuss their beliefs about what Stephen Hawking is experiencing in Heaven.
The study polled 400 bug-eyed, batshit crazy self-identified feminists on their views as to how the laughable feminist movement is treated by right and just media sources.