President Trump: “There’s something not entirely right about it, but my staff keeps reassuring me that the man is as trustworthy as they are.”
The CNN Cafe in Seoul may have enjoyed this week’s most irreverent moment when they introduced a sauteed hamburger roll listed as 빈 햄버거, (bin haembeogeo), which translates to “empty burger” or “Nothing Burger”.
Editor D.R. Everend conceded that “we’ll need some more funding if we plan to accurately, and without any real bias, cover the presidency of the magnificent and incredibly handsome Donald J. Trump. No collusion.”
Trump has procured a crew of K-Street prostitutes “(urinate) on every mattress or piece of furniture they might have sat on.”
Figgins, who is not a particularly adept student and who is prone to exaggeration and excuse-making, has been offered an extension on the assignment.