Did you know that Bill Clinton is a former president of the United States, an honor bestowed by the electorate upon only the most trusted and respected individuals? Are we suggesting that suddenly we just can’t trust U.S. presidents?
“I’ll remember from now on to keep Pfizer and Starbucks and Bank of America — companies I am confident have my best interests at heart — in my nightly prayers. God bless you, corporate sponsors!”
Harper: “In the end, I’ve decided to honor other contractual obligations, obligations which led me to believe that it wouldn’t be in my best interest nor in the interests of the Nationals or the White House if I was in attendance.”
President Trump: “There’s something not entirely right about it, but my staff keeps reassuring me that the man is as trustworthy as they are.”
A White House source says President Trump is “winging it” today after sleeping through four alarms and missing “Fox & Friends”, generally considered the President’s morning briefing.
Trudeau says he is deeply embarrassed by the photos, which “regrettably” depict the Prime Minister dressed and behaving like a white man with normal testosterone levels.