“I was positive this would be the year, but since that’s not the case, my best bet is to once again — and for the last time, I swear — vote for someone I do not support in any way, shape, or form, neither as a person nor as a policymaker.”
Despite binders full of women suddenly thinking Romney is the best thing since bayonets, recent polling indicates that as many as 47% of women say they are never going to support him.
Doctors believe that if the coronavirus has information which could lead to Hillary’s arrest, it will be contained quickly and mysteriously smother itself to death within months.
According to Dr, Randall Kirger, “It’s no longer an issue of believing in climate change or not, but instead a realization that hastening the end of human life could only benefit the planet. If I didn’t believe that the earth’s climate was warming at this point, I would invest the effort to find some way to make it do so.”
Did you know that Bill Clinton is a former president of the United States, an honor bestowed by the electorate upon only the most trusted and respected individuals? Are we suggesting that suddenly we just can’t trust U.S. presidents?
“I’ll remember from now on to keep Pfizer and Starbucks and Bank of America — companies I am confident have my best interests at heart — in my nightly prayers. God bless you, corporate sponsors!”