“Knowing that a star of Dinklage’s stature was going to be present ahead of time, we were able to put intel out in advance and net three of these dwarf-trafficking bastards,” said Chief Constable Hamilton. “Today we made it a little bit safer for a few little people.”
Creuzot: “An officer pulling that driver to the side of the road in what amounts to an emergency situation is an inconvenience to the driver, who is wincing in pain trying to hold all that warm brown butter inside, as opposed to the driver being an inconvenience to the community.”
A study of high-school students showed that desperate teens are now resorting to marijuana to get the same buzz they used to get from innocent, legal items they found lying about their homes like Robitussin, jenkem, or Raid-laced cigarettes.
DC punk rock and hardcore fans were offered an opportunity to rejoice Wednesday when Fugazi frontman Ian Mackeye announced that the band would reunite to
“There are a few reports of people developing a rash, but that’s to be expected considering the rayon and other types of fabric these people are not acclimated with.”
Grammar police had been quiet since video surfaced of a grammar policeman assaulting a man for using “less” instead of “fewer”.