Scott Baio, who Brown Valley News recently revealed to be starring in an upcoming biopic on nihilist punk singer GG Allin, has declared his body a “TV movie temple.”
“My body is a TV movie temple, and my flesh and body fluids are a communion to bored housewives, whether they like it or not” said Baio.
“This is my place. The TV movie empire should be destroyed and rebuilt in my image,” Baio proclaimed. “There’s no one better at this than Scott Baio.”
Baio previously indicated that he wasn’t sure he would be able to muster the “anger and attitude” it would take to portray the notoriously naked, poo-flinging punk rock icon.
“I still don’t know if I have it down, so to speak. I’m a method actor and I thought maybe this role would change me in some way. But it hasn’t. This whole deal doesn’t make me feel like any different person than I did before,” said Baio of his experience on the set while peeling a banana during a break. “Acting is an art form. It’s easy to separate this — this — from real life when you’re an accomplished thespian.”
Baio added, “GG Allin was just a man, no different from you or me. We all have this thing inside of us, but only some of us can let it out. Take me for example. From the very beginning, you know, there’s just always been a fierce, intense fire burning inside of me, and sometimes I feel like my soul is just beyond this fucking universe.”
“But I’m Chachi, you know. And Chachi is a badass in his own way.”
Asked about future plans, Baio revealed that he planned to “live until (he) dies on the outskirts of life.”
“I’m thinking a ‘Charles in Charge‘ reunion is right out,” Baio laughed.