Harper took the news about Trout’s $430M deal better than expected, telling friends “I hope he has a blast, you know? Time of his fucking life! Brag to all his fucking California friends about that bullshit, you know?”
Rangers President Jon Daniels: “Let’s face it, even Mike Trout doesn’t have the drawing power of Big Sexy.”
According to an industry insider and close friend of the star, adult movie actor Ron Jeremy has decided to undergo penis reduction surgery. Considered the
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Time is useful.
IHOJ CEO: “We’re prepared to handle this challenge like we have handled everything in the past: by gritting our teeth and going at it fast, hard and furious.”