Spokesman D.R. Everend said “Clearly, we would have been more careful about the words we chose if we had only realized that people who did not find ISIS to be chock-full of dreamy superstuds with giant, throbbing, well-oiled members would be reading.”
Tag: d.r. everend
Red-eyed allergy sufferer not really giving a shit about work today
The allergy-suffering reporter told reporters that they’d get his work whenever he was “good and goddamn ready” and stated his desire to be alone before pushing his co-workers out of his cubicle and moving a file cabinet in front of the door.
Study: Condemning “thoughts and prayers” equally as effective as sending thoughts and prayers after a tragedy
To the dismay of American theists, a new study confirms that the emergence of bitterness and sarcasm towards people who send thoughts and prayers after
Scott Baio on set of GG Allin biopic: “My body is a TV movie temple”
Scott Baio, who Brown Valley News recently revealed to be starring in an upcoming biopic on nihilist punk singer GG Allin, has declared his body
Shocking! This Nevada gubernatorial candidate met in private with a Russian agent. You’ll never guess what happened next!
Money changed hands at the conclusion of their meeting.
Local mental health statute would make it illegal for women to own guns for one week out of every month
According to the statute, women would not be disarmed as a group, but on a rotating basis “with the exact dates to be determined on an individual basis.”