Barack Obama plans to stop inviting rappers who promote misogyny to White House events

In a reversal on previous White House policy, Barack Obama has decided to stop inviting rappers who promote misogyny and toxic masculinity to White House events.
President Obama expressed his reversal of views during a lecture at a Town Hall in Oakland.

“You seem stressed,” Obama quipped about rappers whose imagery is rooted in money and ‘twerking’. “We have enough stress at the White House without adding to it. There’s this whole Trump thing happening and my administration needs to stay focused.”

Obama has played host to numerous rappers at White House events, including moguls Jay-Z and Rick Ross. The White House stood firmly behind their invitations at the time, but Obama says there has been a shift in his administration’s views.

“Early in 2017, I began to feel like maybe I needed to distance myself a bit from inviting that type of artist into the White House. There seemed to be a cultural shift happening right around that time where the lines between right and wrong became blurred and suddenly everything these guys were saying that had always been right … well, it just wasn’t right anymore,” Obama told the crowd in Oakland.

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Prior to his formal statement on the shift in approach, White House officials had previously indicated that Obama was not comfortable with Donald Trump inviting Kanye West to confer in the Oval office.

“We don’t disrespect our house like this,” Obama was reported to have told members of the White House staff after the West conference.

“We have no idea why he keeps telling us all this,” an anonymous staffer confided.

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Fact Check: Did Trump hire Russian prostitutes to serve as human sprinkler system at Trump Tower NY?

We offer unbiased evidence to check on viral statements and claims and rule on their accuracy.
If you have a claim you’d like to have investigated, please send us an email.

Claim:
A rumor circulated in a viral chain email claims that Donald Trump hired “unqualified” Russian prostitutes to serve as a sprinkler system at Trump Tower in New York City that caught fire in April 2018. The email further claims that the “human sprinklers” were dramatically understaffed.

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Evidence:
At least part of this rumor is generated from and serves as a reminder to the popularly-cited Trump-Russia dossier that appeared before the 2016 election, part of which purported to reveal that Trump had hired two Russian prostitutes to urinate on a bed once slept in by Barack Obama. Despite the lack of evidence, questionable authenticity, then-evident questions about source, and the scrutiny that the dossier still falls under, we rated the facts presented in that dossier as being “True” in 2016.
Furthermore, Donald Trump proved that he was a spendthrift in 2016 by eating fast food and putting catsup on steak, a practice rated “unfavorable” by 86 percent of vegan respondents in a scientific poll conducted by Salon in 2016. While this evidence is non-compelling and hinges upon public opinion, and is based upon secluded events that totally ignore his record of lavish spending, we rated claims that he was a spendthrift as “Mostly True” in 2016.
As a spendthrift, it’s reasonable to suggest that Trump might have cut some corners during the building of the tower, which he probably built with his own two hands. Among these blatant and irresponsible building decisions, it’s possible that he may have decided either against a built-in sprinkler system or in favor of graham cracker walls ( which, fairly, the latter of which might become soggy and collapse when wet, leading to Trump’s personal decision against sprinklers). One way or the other, we’re pretty sure the walls are either crackers or Chinese pastries and that the floors are licorice gumdrops, and that not a single sheet of good old-fashioned American sheetrock was used in the construction.

Analysis:
Considering that, in our unbiased findings, Trump is a spendthrift who is exactly the kind of creep who would build his stupid tower out of canned fruit, corrugated paper materials, and fecal matter, and that he has a longstanding history of hiring cheap, dirty Russian hookers to sprinkle on everything, it’s a viable leap to “he hired Russian prostitutes to serve as a sprinkler system in Trump Tower.” Despite the fact that some portions of the evidence might point towards hearsay, circumstantial, and anecdotal, we can’t think of one other logical conclusion to draw and therefore we have concluded that the first half of the claim, that “Trump hired Russian hookers to serve as a human sprinkler system”, to be “True.”

However, the email goes on to claim that the staff was “unqualified” and that the prostitutes were “understaffed”.
To date, no published articles have surfaced to indicate the efficiency of the Trump Tower Human Russian Hooker Sprinkler System. As such, we do not know how the Russian prostitutes performed day-to-day in their duties, nor how they performed under usual circumstances, considering that many prostitutes are very functional parts of society, unlike the President. Some evidence also suggests that the Russian prostitutes had prior experience in human sprinkling.
Also to be considered is the amount that a prostitute must surely drink in order to just be in the same building as such an virtue-less man as the President. Certainly, a well-practiced prostitute with a drinking habit can hold quite a reserve in the event that she has to unsnap her garters, pull her panties to the side, and urinate on a condominium fire. For this reason, it is not knowable how many Russian prostitutes it would take to extinguish a condominium fire with urine, and therefore impossible to determine if they were staffed to proper levels.
Lacking firm and reasonable evidence concerning the ability of these prostitutes to perform their duties, our unbiased team of investigators are forced to rate the full claims of the email as “Half True”.

Bernie Sanders

 

Opinion: OMG did I say I supported the 2nd Amendment? I meant to say I support Republicans no matter what they say

LETTER TO THE EDITOR
To whom it may concern:
How dare anyone
question my morals and values?
They’ve never changed.
When I said that executive orders were an abuse of power, I meant I opposed a Democrat doing it.
When I said that I opposed a president golfing regularly, I meant I opposed a Democrat doing it.
And when I said that I opposed gun control measures, I couldn’t possibly have been more clear: I obviously meant that I did not want Democrats enforcing them.
Please, remind me of a time, just one, when I said that I did not support Republican gun control efforts, unquestioningly?
Come on! Trump’s ideas are obviously real progress that we can all get behind, right? I mean, it’s totally common sense, and that’s what I’ve supported all along, isn’t it? Common sense Republican policies, that’s me all the way!
I never said that we needed to protect ourselves from governments both foreign and domestic, did I?
I never repeated “shall not be infringed” over and over again in a social media thread, did I?
I didn’t call everyone who opposed my ideologies “gun-grabbing Commie pussies”, did I?
Oh, I did?
Well, even if I said something once or twice, what I meant is that I don’t trust Democrats in power. Come on, I thought that was obvious.
Look, I really don’t care what happens, so long as my party, the party I vote for without question, is pulling the strings.
So long as the president is a Republican, it’s fine. It all makes perfect sense now. I get it.
I’ve always supported Republican gun-grabbing measures.
And now that a Republican is stepping up to the plate, I just want to be clear: OMFG wow! I LOVE gun control now!

Sincerely,
Ralph Moats
Clunge, Virginia

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White House turkey refused pardon, arrested

Breaking with a decades-long tradition, the White House today refused to issue a pardon to the annual White House turkey, instead arresting the bird during the ceremony and charging it with numerous counts of espionage and treason against the government.
President Barack Obama, flanked by police and Secret Service agents, approached the turkey personally with a warrant in hand to read the charges and oversee the arrest first hand.
The turkey, who has been residing in the United States under the assumed name Gobbles McGobbley, is suspected to be a Russian agent by the name of Oleg Vasiliev, and is believed by US intelligence agencies to have played a part in the hacks of the Democratic National Committee. The DNC leaks created a lot of headaches for Committee Chairman John Podesta as well as numerous DNC officials and news personalities throughout the election cycle. Media charged that the DNC emails were leaked in order to influence the election in favor of Donald Trump, which clashed with the work the media had done until that point.
In a brief public statement after playing a heroic role in the arrest, President Obama stated that Central Intelligence had determined that Vasiliev had devised a plan to be the White House turkey in order to receive a full presidential pardon before returning to Russia. While the president stressed that the investigation was still ongoing, he reported that the CIA had evidence in hand to prove that Vasiliev was “at least a co-conspirator in numerous acts of espionage and treason as an illegal hacker in an attempt to influence a United States presidential election.”
Rolling his eyes towards the end of the statement, the president said, “Keep it coming, Russia. Stay classy.”
If convicted, Vasiliev could face anywhere from 25 years in a maximum security prison to a one-way trip to the White House Dining Hall for a future Thanksgiving dinner.