Spoiler: The Seattle Mariners had a sneaky good offseason that should make them serious contenders until around the 6th inning of Opening Day.
Harper took the news about Trout’s $430M deal better than expected, telling friends “I hope he has a blast, you know? Time of his fucking life! Brag to all his fucking California friends about that bullshit, you know?”
Rangers President Jon Daniels: “Let’s face it, even Mike Trout doesn’t have the drawing power of Big Sexy.”