With the 2019 MLB season behind us, stoic Yankees fans plan to turn their clocks back 75 to 100 years this weekend to a time when the team were a perennial World Series participant.
Spokesman D.R. Everend said “Clearly, we would have been more careful about the words we chose if we had only realized that people who did not find ISIS to be chock-full of dreamy superstuds with giant, throbbing, well-oiled members would be reading.”
“If you need someone who can whip a team of housewives into shape, I’m your man,” the former manager said in one of a series of Tweets addressed to Epstein.
President Trump: “There’s something not entirely right about it, but my staff keeps reassuring me that the man is as trustworthy as they are.”
A White House source says President Trump is “winging it” today after sleeping through four alarms and missing “Fox & Friends”, generally considered the President’s morning briefing.
The science community has known for almost 3 decades that the phrase “2 Legit” was mathematically incorrect. Now, they’re finally coming clean.