Putin: “Stranger things have happened. After all, no thought US entertainment media would ever green light this Apprentice spin-off.”
Many Twitter users tweeted in shock about what the perceived act of philanthropy by the critic, notorious for his scathing reviews.
At one point, the President told Trump, “You might want to wet-nap that before you sit on it, if you know what I mean.”
America’s masturbators breathed a collective moan of relief when Miley Cyrus announced today that she had decided to remain in the US.
“We all looked like assholes. We all felt like assholes.”
“Hillary may be boring and vague, but we were running against a racist with deplorable, basic redneck supporters. How could we just lose to someone who uses so much divisive language? No one deserves to lose just because people want reasonable options to mediocrity.”