“Just in case there aren’t militias blowing each other to smithereens and fires raging in the city well into the night, we’ll want to congratulate Joe Biden on the amazing crowd he has, which will certainly be much bigger than the Trump crowd.”
Georgia Trump supporter says he voted Biden 12,780 times “as a joke to test the system out”
A weedeater operations specialist from Bearslit says he “didn’t take the mail-in votes seriously” and claims he submitted thousands of ballots to prove his point.
20,000 US troops descend upon DC in anticipation of 2021 Toilet Paper Shortage Riots
“In a city that generates as much shit as DC, the toilet paper supply isn’t taken lightly,” one soldier told our reporter.
Melania Trump phone hack photos suggest affair with Virginia newsman, further clouding President’s future
A hacker posted a series of photos suggesting an illicit affair between Melania Trump and a man believed to be Virginia newsman Randall Everend.
White House planning to hide valuable, pocket-sized items ahead of Hunter Biden visit
An appraisal business reportedly financed by Hunter Biden estimates that the total value of items to be hidden by White House staff is over $2.3 million at auction.
Lame-duck President Trump nominates Kid Rock to head US Department of Cowboy
Rock will reportedly receive the National Honorary Cowboy Council Medal of Honor and be toasted with Boone’s wine in the rose garden before Trump leaves office, regardless of the status of his departmental appointment
