Alex Jones now believes that introducing “really hot lady frogs” into the ecosystem may be exactly what is needed to combat the effects of atrazine, a chemical known to cause coupling among male frogs.
In a session that lasted only 22 minutes, the wild-eyed and unkempt council members approved Amendment 306: Provide the Raddest Fucking Laser Fireworks Show Ever by a vote of 13-0.
Women in Congress have only had their own restroom in the US Capitol since 2011. Lately, it’s been a nightmare of used tampons and “hover method” usage.
“Joe really lacked self-awareness on the issue,” said a campaign staffer.
Alex’s new personal accounts appear under the names Schmalex Chones, Dallex Dones, and Olive Obama. He reports that his new Facebook page — Schminfowars — will be up and running by later today.
Trump reportedly told a staffer: “You’d think Mike would suggest Charlotte try an off-the-shoulder look or ask Audrey to show a little leg every once in a while, just for America’s sake.”