Trump has procured a crew of K-Street prostitutes “(urinate) on every mattress or piece of furniture they might have sat on.”
Figgins, who is not a particularly adept student and who is prone to exaggeration and excuse-making, has been offered an extension on the assignment.
Tanner, whose parents Phil and Margery own a popular lampshade gallery in Seattle, has formed a small collective to discuss race issues.
“There are a few reports of people developing a rash, but that’s to be expected considering the rayon and other types of fabric these people are not acclimated with.”
If convicted, he could face from 25 years in prison to a one-way trip to the White House Dining Hall for a future Thanksgiving dinner.
“We recognize that we should have already made this information available. That we have not is not excusable.”