“There probably would have been a little less leftover candy, but I did get extra jelly beans when they were 50% off on the Monday after Easter,” acknowledged Schlitz, adding, “You don’t just pass up 50% off jellybeans.”
Category: People
Lawn service assistant reportedly a little uneasy since boss implemented Casually Gay Fridays
Hector also said that he thought adding Casually Gay Fridays to the weekly docket seems “a little over the top” considering the small business had just added Homoerotic Wednesdays to the itinerary a little over a month ago.
Study: Condemning “thoughts and prayers” equally as effective as sending thoughts and prayers after a tragedy
To the dismay of American theists, a new study confirms that the emergence of bitterness and sarcasm towards people who send thoughts and prayers after
Eating store-brand pizza gives man store-brand diarrhea
A local resident reports that eating a pizza purchased from Clunge Valley Grocery has resulted in a “nasty case of store-brand diarrhea”.
TV, video games, chatting online: inside the sick habits of the Florida gunman who “showed all the warning signs”
“He filled his life with things that brought moments of joy, without filling the void creating by avoiding regular, healthy conversation.”
Local resident apparently really mad about “how gay Lucky Charms are now”
“I’m just glad I turned out OK” concluded Moats, who claims he grew up loving the cereal.
Brown Valley Observer 