Sources: African-Americans running conspicuously late for Black History Month

While predominantly white-owned media, television networks and celebrities have heralded the month of February like it was an unseasoned boiled potato, sources close to Black people tell the Brown Valley Observer that the nation’s African-American population is once again running conspicuously late for Black History Month.
“February is only 28 days long,” a source close to Black people lamented. “I hope no one was planning around showing up on the 30th.”
“The last thing we need is Black people celebrating their history in the middle of March, when everyone else is going too busy checking their brackets to care one way or the other,” the source added.
Black History Month was first recognized as a national celebration starting February 1, 1976 by President Gerald Ford, with the first African Americans participating on February 24. A poll of this year’s event organizers indicated that less that 2% of expected Black celebrators had arrived to Black History Month by Wednesday.
“Fortunately, once even just a few Black women show up, it’s usually so loud that that it’s easy to believe that there are a lot more people present,” a source familiar with Blacks noted.

Print ad for the Black History Month celebration at Brown Valley Community Center in Clunge.

“I hope they get here soon, I am running out of ways to keep this party fresh,” lamented local Black History Month event organizer Stephanie Shunt of the Ladies’ Home Auxiliary while dancing a traditional Irish jig in a dashiki. Shunt says Culvert County, Virginia’s Black History Month festivities include facepainting, square-dancing, swimming, and eventually, Black people.
Outside of the lack of African-American participation, event organizers report that the month has gone “splendidly” so far, with usual high participation levels from white women and the Jewish community from the onset.
“The Jewish people have been well represented this year since at least January 27,” one organizer boasted. “You’d really think some of them would have thought to bring some Black people with them.”
US Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) recently suggested that nationalizing Black people would make it much easier to round them up for time-sensitive events and celebrations like these, an idea which is expected to gain bipartisan support during the next Congressional session.

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