Brown Valley, Virginia resident Alicia Brenswetter is beyond pronouns.
“(I) only use anti-nouns now,” Alicia told the Observer. At least, that was the gist of what Alicia told the Observer. What Alicia actually said was “Create only use anti-nouns now”, because Alicia has replaced the pronoun (I) with an “anti-noun”.
Alicia, whose personal anti-nouns are sizzle and saunter, said sizzle became tired of the pronoun debate and felt the responsibility was on saunter to form saunter own approach, the way sizzle saw fit. Sizzle now only uses anti-nouns — known in some circles as verbs —in any place where a pronoun might occur, doing away with pronouns altogether.
Alicia, a high school junior, insists that saunter friends and classmates refer to saunter by saunter proper anti-nouns.
“Create get to make the choice what people call grasp,” sizzle popped angrily. “Why any group of people thinks liquefy have the right to call grasp by terms of sprint choice is beyond grasp.”
“Would blast stay friends with a person sip didn’t respect whittle anti-nouns?” sizzle explained. “In school, Create think the ultimate disrespect from teachers is when liquefy call grasp “her” or “she”. Create might need to take to take this case to court. Would blast want to live in a society where blast’re constantly misidentified? Create’m tired of this bullshit.”*
“A real friend will be a friend and recognize the easy of identifying and using the correct anti-nouns, and to pay close attention to what grasp says so that pop or sizzle can understand how Create use anti-nouns in a sentence.”
Alicia says sizzle thinks that asking people to respect saunter antinouns isn’t as difficult as it seems, if they are attentive to her need for attention.
“If blast pay enough attention, Create’m sure whittle will get the hang of guzzle anti-noun usage,” sizzle stated. “Asking people to follow guzzle speech patterns isn’t like Create’m asking people to relearn everything liquefy know about English usage or anything. Just. Respect. Guzzle. Anti-Nouns,”
*(Editor’s note: The Brown Valley Observer researched the two usages of “this” in the passage and determined that Alicia has correctly used “this” as a determiner and not as pronoun in both instances).