Excited, child-like Jeff Bezos reportedly vomited cotton candy, funnel cake during Blue Origin ride

An overly excited and uninhibited Jeff Bezos reportedly vomited during his infamous July 20 Blue Origin space ride, according to Oliver Daemen, the ride’s first paying customer.
Daemen, an 18 year old Dutch student whose father won a $28M auction for the first ever ride and who became the youngest person ever to reach such altitudes, told The Brown Valley Observer that the enraptured billionaire said to the crew “Can you believe this? Can you fucking believe this? Oh man, I think I’m going to barf!” moments before spilling the contents of his stomach — mostly cotton candy and funnel cakes, according to the janitorial detail — into the weightless environment space ride.

Our amazing MSPaint staff was able to provide this accurate rendition of Bezos’ vomiting into the Blue Origin spacecraft

“Jeff grew up as a big fan of the carnival, especially those Space Mountain-y, time machine type centrifuge rides — you know, like the Gravitron, the ones that give you the feeling of weightlessness,” one Bezos associate who has known him since childhood told The Observer. “Rest assured, this is not the first time Jeff has puked in a weightless environment.”
Bezos was seen an hour earlier giggling and hurriedly rushing from booth to booth eating all the carnival food in sight before boarding the expected $300,000-per-ticket space ride. At one point, he even attempted to win a large plush by throwing a ping pong ball into a goldfish bowl, a game he later confided that he felt like was rigged and “completely fucked (Bezos) out of $2”.
“He’s got the coolest fucking carnival ride ever,” the associate explained. “It’s hard to blame him for being this excited.”
“I’ve been there before,” admitted Blue Origin rider Daemen. “I lost my own cotton candy and funnel cake on The Mixer when I was 9 years old. I was leaning out saying ‘Hey, everybody, look at me! Look at me!’ then POW, I puked.”
Daemen reports that some of Bezos’ vomit floated onto his clothing, for which Bezos apologized profusely and offered financial compensation in the form of a $100 coupon that Daemen can apply towards a future $300,000 space ride.

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