20 shot in past week as Baltimore sees surge in coronaviolence, return to normalcy

In spite of mask mandates remaining in place in Baltimore (they’re scheduled to be lifted July 1), the city has seen a spike of local coronaviolence cases over the past week, with at least 20 shootings around the city, proving that the city is eager to return to normalcy ahead of schedule.

Shootings and other coronaviolent crimes surged around the country in recent weeks as various municipalities removed mask mandates, reopened remaining businesses, and encouraged more social interaction after more than 15 months of full or partial quarantines. Officials now believe that such returns to normalcy are presenting a potent social cocktail that led to a spike in coronaviolence best characterized by a return to normal crime and murder statistics. Since many believe these spikes in coronaviolence deaths can be attributed to the psychological effects of covid quarantine, many officials support adding these spikes to the COVID-19 death toll, which currently stands at over 600,000 once coronaviolence cases are considered.
Once falsely maligned by President Trump in a now-famous racist Twitter post , Baltimore is generally characterized by media reports to be a safe, clean, rodent-free city. Law enforcement within the utopian oasis has became so unnecessary that the city was able to trim $22M from their police budget in 2020 and may cut even more in the next budget amid calls to further defund police. Baltimore averages just a smidge over 300 homicides annually, which is peanuts compared to some cities whose names were not available at press time.
Baltimore mayor Brandon Scott told the Brown Valley Observer that he’s happy to see the city returning to normal weeks ahead of the end of the mask mandate.
“Whether it’s just general excitement as the end of the mandate nears or our city feeding off the energy of jurisdictions who have already relaxed mandates, it’s truly rewarding to see our city once again coming together in a display of tried-and-true American values, and well ahead of schedule as compared to many other cities, who lagged in coronaviolence before shedding their masks,” Scott told our reporters.
Scott says that in spite of the surge, there is no intention to delay ending the mandate, citing the need to return to normal.
“By this time next month, our local boys clubs should be back in full-force in the inner city and we should be able to see as many as 30 or 40 shootings a week,” Scott beamed. “Baltimore prides itself on being ahead of the curve. We’re so far ahead, in fact, that I would not be surprised if police and investigation officials are able to chalk many of our local shootings up to causes other than coronaviolence.”
Democratic leaders have warned Mayor Scott about trying to low-ball coronaviolence death tolls, citing a need to keep COVID counts accurate. Scott has repeated reminders along the way that Baltimore is not a violent city but merely a city “brimming with American values”.

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