Outgoing President Donald Trump tied up what friends say he refers to as a “loose end” over the weekend by nominating rapper Kid Rock to head the US Department of Cowboy and bestowing the title of Honorary Cowboy upon the artist during a rose garden ceremony this week.
Kid Rock, whose birthname was Mineral Childs before being adopted and renamed Robert Ritchie, has been a vocal supporter of the President. In turn, President Trump has invited Rock to and entertained his company in the White House. Rock is a rap and country artist best known for his music’s uncanny ability to make white guys pop their collars up and douse themselves with Axe Body Spray.
Rock publicly and repeatedly stated his desire to be a cowboy years ago, and even once confided his desire to be called Tex and Hoss and to have a yacht with a flag that reads “Chillin’ the Most”.
With the appointment subject to Congressional review, hearings are expected to be rushed through the lame-duck session this week. With little opposition expected, Trump is expected to formally name Kid Rock as the Department of Cowboy chief before his presidency ends.
“Really, at this point, why the fuck not?” a desheveled House Speaker Nancy Pelosi told reporters Sunday.
In addition to the departmental appointment, Trump says he plans on awarding Rock with the National Honorary Cowboy Council Medal of Honor mounted upon a ten-gallon hat and offering Rock a convertible horse from one of Trump’s private stables. Rock will reportedly receive the Honorary Cowboy Council medal and be toasted with Boone’s wine in the rose garden before Trump leaves office, regardless of the status of his departmental appointment.