A consensus of America’s top proctologists and urologists participating in a recent roundtable discussion believe that this adorable story about massaging your own prostate probably won’t even get one share on social media.
Pointing to persistent stereotypes about prostate wellness checks and prostate massage, the panel of medical professionals believed that most social media users, including those who already personally engage in some level of prostate massage, will probably be too embarrassed to openly share an article about the procedure, even if it is accompanied by a photograph of a helpless puppy that really needs to be shared on social media in order to save the poor pupper’s life.
Jeez, would you just look at that sad, hurt little fella? It’s practically crying for assistance. Won’t somebody please help that poor injured pupper and just share the article already?
Overwhelming opinions among the panel included the belief that the procedure is humiliating and emasculating, in spite of the thousands of lives that prostate checks and prostate massage have saved. Others indicated that some don’t think of prostate massage in medical terms at all, and instead associate it with male homosexuality, even though in modern times “gay jokes” and homophobia just aren’t as cool and funny as some people out there seem to think they still are.
Come on guys.
In spite of the fact that prostate wellness checks and prostate massage have been utilized to rejuvenate the sexuality and potency of thousands of men — some of whom are perfectly straight, normal guys like you and/or your spouse or significant other — many people just can’t seem to get over childish attitudes about occasionally stinkfingering their own dirtfarm. Some men state that they would never allow for prostate massage even if their lives depended on it, and just as bad — some people will reap the benefits of prostate wellness checks and prostate massage and never once tell a friend about their experience because of the stereotypes associated with it.
The panel suggested that it is long past time for society to get over their simple attitudes, their irrational fears, and/or their homophobia and just tell their friends, “I recognize the benefits — both medical and and emotional — of prostate wellness check and prostate massage and I support the procedures 100%.”
But they won’t.
And, as a result, now this puppy is probably just going to die.