Janice Schlitz, a dieting mother of three from Brown Valley, Virginia, has concocted a plan to finish off all the Easter candy in the house today while her kids are at school in order to eliminate temptation caused by the sugary snacks.
Schlitz, who has been on a calorie-counting diet for seven years, admitted to friends that her household had again overshot their estimate of needed Easter goodies. Now, eight days past the holiday, she reports that “there must still be six, maybe pounds of jelly beans, Reese’s eggs, Peeps, robin’s eggs, and marshmallow goop-filled chocolates just laying around, just taunting me”
“There probably would have been a little less leftover candy, but I did get a couple of extra bags of jelly beans when they were 50% off on the Monday after Easter,” acknowledged Schlitz, adding, “You don’t just pass up 50% off jellybeans.”
According to Schlitz’ plan, she has designated Monday and possibly Tuesday as “cheat days” and intends to polish off the remaining treats while enjoying Wendy Williams and Dr. Phil’s programs on TV.
“The kids lost interest in the candy after about day three, like they do every year,” Schiltz told friends before detailing how she’s been casually sampling from their Easter baskets since Easter afternoon. “Still, it’s best to eat it while they’re at school, because if they see me eating it, they’ll just start harping until they get some.”
“My mom badge relies upon me not letting them have that candy and spoil their appetite for dinner,” Schlitz proclaimed.
“With the candy out of the house, I’ll be able to return my focus to calorie counting and only enjoy my favorite diet sodas and flavored waters during Dr. Phil” reports Schlitz, who also confessed to friends that she’s just thankful that there are no more food-related observances on the horizon until at least Cinco de Mayo.