Conspiracy buff disinterested in Mueller report until 4K Ultra HD version with bonus features released

On Thursday, April 18, the US government will make public documents related to Robert Mueller’s investigation into collusion between Donald Trump’s campaign and Russian influencers, helping answer many of the unanswered mysteries that have swirled around the investigation that cleared Trump of involvement in March.
Conspiracy theorist and documentary film collector Will Lohan isn’t ready to hear any of it — yet — and he doesn’t think you are, either.
Lohan told his Facebook followers that he had no intention to fully believe and that he would discourage friends from believing any redacted report or any report that wasn’t delivered on a 4K Ultra HD video disc with 10-15 hours minimum of bonus footage.

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Lohan insists that America won’t be informed until a 4K Ultra HD version of the Mueller Report is released. (photo by Gregory Hayes via Unsplash)

“Never take the government’s first offering,” Lohan told friends. “They’re going to lowball you. They want that pig to keep trotting around in his mudhole.”
“Redacted documents? Really? That’s all we’re going to get? Really? Documents that by design will hide certain truths? It all seems so 20th century: JFK, Waco, 9-freakin’-11. The documents they allow to reach the public are intended to confuse and cloud the situation, not to clarify it. America has waited long enough for this, and America deserves better than this,” Lohan insisted.
“400 pages of lies? I’m better off to wait for the movie, really.”
“If this data release answered the questions we need answered, they’d release it on 4K Ultra HD Blu-Ray video disc so that people will actually sit through the information and learn from it. While I may poke around at the document release, the Blu-Ray is what I’m waiting for before I pass judgement. The way they’re doing it, no one is going to read anything and everyone is just going to go on their word and trust the opinions of government and the mainstream media. Big mistake!””
“Granted, the public is hungry and it’ll probably take a while to compile it all: the unmarred documents, the unedited interviews, the totally unbiased commentary reels. But that’s what we deserve because without it, we won’t have the whole truth,” Lohan lamented.
“Without (a 4K Ultra HD release), we will really have very little context, just a bunch of redacted documents that will likely paint far too friendly a picture of Trump and his campaign, just like they want.”
Lohan points out that the investigation was probably too long and thorough to be summarized on an hourly news program.
“Anything less than 8-12 discs jam packed with HD video will probably be unsatisfactory. I know a lot of people would watch the documentary feature on Netflix, but even that isn’t enough. You need all the available bonus features to thoroughly debunk any potential exoneration that Trump has undeservedly received, the way an unbiased report would.”
Lohan also indicated that he would like to see the Blu-Ray DVD release to come in a steel box for collector’s purposes.
“Some Stormy Daniels highlights sound like a nice touch, too,” Lohan indicated.
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