In response to the wildly popular wave of outages and app limitations Facebook users experienced Wednesday, tech giant Facebook planned to extend rolling app limits indefinitely.
Facebook users were treated to the limitations, which ranged from the inability to like and comment on posts, to the inability to share photographs, to in some cases a total inability to access the site. The social media platform relished the positive response and a spokesperson for Mark Zuckerberg announced that the platform would continue the rolling outages “at least until they become unpopular or interfere with data mining operations.”
“What can we say? We’re people pleasers,” the spokesperson said.
Facebook users who can’t get enough outages sounded off with delight about the first wave of technical glitches, and the good news is that they can now plan to continue to enjoy the outages and limitations for some time to come.
“I’m pretty sure people are tired of my bullshit anyway,” said Sally Suggs of Virginia in a Facebook post. She later lamented that no one had responded to the post, and surmised that maybe it was because people really were tired of her shit. She later removed the attention-seeking post.
“I did not know at first what use the program was to me without the inability to introduce women to filtered pictures of my genitalia through Messenger, but now that I’ve had that experience, I’m at peace and would be fine with extending these app outages,” posted Omar Khatri of New Delhi, who just signed up for an Instagram account.
Culvert County social media guru Ralph Moats found his own way around the obstacle, posting text that read: “Picture of Alexandria Ocasio Cortez with a dumb look on her face. Caption says ‘I put a potato in the microwave and punched the pizza button. When the dinger went off, it was still a potato.”
No one responded.