BROWN VALLEY- Local upstart fast food chain Haunch’s has begun marketing a buttocks shaped bun as a tip of the hat to the popularity of ass-eating memes on social media.
CEO Brent Ball says he personally spent months monitoring social media looking for the right viral trend for marketing his sandwiches before settling on the buttocks-shaped bun.
“In the end, we test marketed several different sandwich ideas within our control group to find out which viral trends would be most successful,” Ball reports.
“The tests showed that people preferred sandwiches with ass-shaped buns over sandwiches that tasted like moths, sandwiches that threw cheese at babies, depressed and suicidal sandwiches, and burgers that could slap you at 3275.95 mph by a 6-to-1 ratio.”
“This gives everyone an opportunity to take a time honored tradition like analingus and puts it in a family setting where it belongs,” Ball beamed. “And you won’t believe the flavor of these things!”
In addition to the Buttocks Burger and Buttocks Double-Meat Burger, Haunch’s also plans to offer a Buttocks Fish sandwich and a Chick n’ Butt sandwich, which stands as the cornerstone of the initial advertising campaign with the clever “Guess what? Chick n’ Butt” slogan already a hit among local grade school students.
“I really can’t wait for the opportunity to eat one of these ass-shaped sandwiches,” stated local single truck driver Bill Feely. “I’m just curious to know if eating these things is really as good as everyone says it is.”
Brown Valley Observer 