Engineers working for Post Consumer Brands, makers of Grape Nuts cereal, are excited to announce the development of a new robotic device that automates the process in which the testicle is separated from the grape. The development is expected to revolutionize the Grape Nuts industry.
“This is our cotton-gin moment,” Post said in a press release.
“Manual neutering of the grape has long hampered the Grape Nuts industry. Now we have robotic arms that will line up the grapes, pry apart their little grape legs, and remove their little grape testes quickly and efficiently. Manual extraction has always been a slow, tedious process, the cost of which yielded lower profit margins. This invention will help lower the price so that children everywhere can enjoy our product.”
The machine reportedly also reduces the amount of grape penises accidentally extracted and included in with the cereal product, which has long been a criticism of the manual neutering process. The FDA issued a warning to Post in 2017, insisting that the cerealmaker reduce grape penises in their product to below 2% of the total product weight. Post is confident that the machine not only resolves this issue, but the machine is thought to be effective enough that Post can explore selling the product for other capabilities, including as a pet litter, as an oil-dry product, and as a personal lubricant.
Brown Valley Observer 