Actress Meg Ryan charged with role in 1989 orgasm hoax

New York police investigators have arrested Meg Ryan, 57, concerning a 1989 incident in which the actress is believed to have staged a “hoax” demonstration during which she “loudly and deliberately faked orgasms”. Police believe that the incident was staged to further Ms. Ryan’s acting career.

A video detailing Meg’s 1989 “orgasm hoax” has been well circulated in the 29+ years since the incident.

New York Police Commissioner addressed surprised and relieved reporters about the incident during an early Friday press conference, stating:

“This investigation surrounded a well-known incident in 1989 in which Ms. Ryan continued to fake orgasm after orgasm right in the middle of Katz’s Delicatessen in Manhattan during peak hours, with cameras present recording the entire demonstration. While there are no direct laws against having an orgasm in a delicatessen, there are, in fact, laws stating that a person cannot demonstrate without a proper license, and stating one cannot stage a demonstration under deliberately false pretense.

“We have adequate reason to believe, based on repeated recorded testimonies from some of Ms. Ryan’s closest friends including Robert Reiner and William Crystal and even Ms. Ryan herself, that the entire event was staged to draw attention to Ms. Ryan. She then used this demonstration — performed entirely under false pretense — to land lucrative roles in such films as Joe Versus the Volcano and Hurlyburly.”

“It’s such a well-known hoax,” the commissioner stated at one point, sighing. “I’m embarrassed that we’ve never approached this case. Many parts of the past 29 years have been a tremendous failure when we’ve been so well informed and we’ve never done anything about it. ”

At least one video of the “fake orgasm” was released a few months after the incident. The video has become very well circulated in the past 29 years.

Investigators indicated that they had plenty of evidence related to the incident that could assure a conviction, including the “virtual impossibility that Ms. Ryan — or any other woman, for that matter — could achieve orgasm with actor Billy Crystal in the same room.”

O’Neill expects a challenge concerning applicable statutes of limitations on cases of public demonstration, but reiterated his own stance that , “Even if they find something, well, we all know that there should be no damn statute of limitations on such a heinous, heartless display.”

O’Neill concluded the press conference by announcing that New York Police had also brought O’Neill’s wife in for questioning concerning a similar, more recent incident.

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