Within hours of the President denouncing domestic violence on Wednesday, several key Democratic figures spoke in support of “common sense” measures that would allow the practice to continue in certain situations.
Several Democratic Congresspeople amended statements they had previously made against domestic violence, pointing to unusual circumstances that sometimes arise.
During an interview on MSNBC, Congressman John Yarmuth (D-Arkansas) said the President’s statement was too unyielding. “While I have previously made statements similar to that made by the President, certainly these situations need to be viewed on a case-by-case basis, making some basic common sense allowances for times when that bitch is really just trying to set you off with her fucking bullshit.”
Virginia Senator Tim Kaine issued a statement which included the words: “While under ordinary circumstances domestic violence may not be the right answer, there are clearly times when I am asking for it.”
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer reluctantly admitted that Congressional Democrats had overestimated Trump’s position before now.
“We figured with him not making a personal statement in regards to domestic violence, that indicated that he was clearly in the ‘pro’ column on this one. We all jumped on the bandwagon and made the statements that we made, and clearly, we were wrong.”
“Make no mistake,” Schumer continued, “This is not the position that we had hoped to stand behind, and I admit that myself and many of my colleagues feel a bit backed into a corner taking it, but we remain steadfast in our opposition to the words and actions of this president, and we will come out swinging, as usual. Preferably against our stupid wives.”