Slayer concerts sell-out quickly for the first of 3 “Final Tours” the band plans

Rock fans across the nation scrambled this week to scarf up tickets to Slayer’s upcoming tour, the first of three “final tours” the band plans over the next decade.

Tickets for more than 20 Slayer concerts went on sale Friday, most selling out with an hour.

The band announced the world tour, their first ever “Final Tour” through a viral posting on the band’s social media pages less than a week ago. Tickets went on sale this week for shows in California, Texas, Ohio and the Mid-Atlantic, as well as several Canadian dates.

“This isn’t a gimmick,” Slayer’s Tom Araya reports. “This is really it: our very first final tour, the first last big go-around, and we certainly hope that it produces such lofty gate receipts to justify further touring.”

Fans are mostly optimistic about the tour, despite the “Final” notion it implies.

Slayer fan Mark Millburg of Oregon sweated it out on his phone for twenty minutes to obtain the tough-to-get tickets, and plans to drive several hundred miles to see the band play 2 California dates in May. “Normally, on a Friday, I’m working on activism projects, organizing marches and writing speeches about income inequality and hunger in America, but I was glad to take a half-hour off to plunk down $600 for a pair of great seats to see Slayer, a band who really understand the struggle of the people and of their fans, most of whom don’t have a lot, many of whom will go to sleep tonight with an empty stomach or without a safe place to lay their head.”

Texas metal fan Bill Scheidel understands the importance of seeing the first final tour. “I just wanted to see this first Final Tour, while they still have the energy to stand in place and play the material, instead of waiting for the third or even fourth final tour, when they’re propped up in wheelchairs and look and sound like real assholes trying to pull off most of their classic material.”

Jerry Germaine of New Jersey says he wouldn’t miss it. “I’ve seen all the final tours: KISS, Judas Priest, Nine Inch Nails, Phish, The Rolling Stones three times. Even though I was not encouraged to see the last few tours, I’m really invested here because this is the first time Slayer has ever done this, this is new territory for the band and many of their fans.”

“For all we know, the rest of the tours will include hologram members, This may be my last chance to see —well, maybe not really that close the original members, but an entire live band on the stage.” Germaine explained.

Slayer’s first Final World Tour opens May 10 at Valley View Casino in San Diego.

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