President Obama Thanks Allah For Scandal-Free Presidency

In one of his last public appearances before he leaves office, President Barack Obama Tuesday thanked Allah for “giving (him) the strength to get through the past eight years of public life scandal-free.”
The president, addressing a gathering at the Islamic Mosque and Cultural Center in Washington, gave a short but inspired speech in front of a crowd of about 200. His speech centered around finding strength in Allah, which he said “has offered (him) a great inner strength, even as it has made (him) more skeptical in dealing with infidels.”
Obama’s family, who stood several paces behind Obama throughout his speech, joined the crowd in applause.
“The American people, the Republican people, the conservative people, they tried to make a fool out of me, but I prayed to Allah daily for peace, strength, and wisdom,” the president confided. “And Allah told me what to do. Allah was the courage in my heart.”

“When they said I was from Kenya, I wanted to spit upon them, but Allah gave me the strength.
“When they blamed me for bombings that I barely played a role in, I wanted to rend their skin from their bodies! But … Allah gave me strength.

“When I wanted to blast those infidel hillbillies out of Oregon, Allah gave me strength.
“When Louisiana flooded and I thought to help, Allah reminded me that Louisiana is a den of debauchery. Allah gave me the strength to stay on that vacation.
“Whenever the possibility that I could defile myself in the eyes of Allah presented itself, I looked to Allah, and Allah gave me the strength to make the right decision, and to forge on in a righteous path in the image of the Almighty Allah.
“Imagine all of the scandals I could have been involved in had I not had Allah on my side. Praise be to Allah! Praise his name!”
-Barack Obama January 19, 2017

One listener told reporters, “I am very proud of President Obama, and would gladly crush those who would ever discourage him. But I will pray to Allah for strength.”
President Obama has only a few more days to speak to citizens from his official position in the highest office in the United States. Sources close to the president say that he plans to throw a “bomb-ass party” once his official duties cease.

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