Local man hopes to become first member of his Juggalo Family to attend college

Brady “Fareezy” Farnham has big plans.
The 19 year old, a senior at Royal Oak High School, isn’t doing anything you wouldn’t expect from a high school senior with career goals. He’s reading pamphlets and scouring the world-wide web looking for the right college.
Except Farnham isn’t just any high school kid with big dreams. When he steps foot into his first lecture hall next fall, he’ll become the first member of his Juggalo Family to ever attend college.

Juggalo Families like this one could become extinct without education and innovation as the nation shakes from a heroin epidemic.

It’s a big achievement, considering the size and reach of the nationally-known Family, but Farhnam is approaching the task with fervor. He agreed to meet with Brown Valley Observer’s D.R. Everend to share his experience. Everend assisted Farnham in his web search for science-friendly community colleges within walking distance of Farnham’s house.
While Farnham’s interests in higher education and career focus seem a bit scattered, ranging from botany to pharmaceutics technician, he seems open to an array of possibilities.
“Look at this,” Farnham said excitedly excitedly at one point, tapping the screen of his laptop. “This shit’s tight, yo. These muhfuggs got some chemical engineering up in they shit. Fam could use some chemical engineering and shit, yo.”
“Yeah, we don’t need to bust no more tubs up in here,” called his friend Charles “Chuckles” Morton, who shares a sleeping quarter with Farnham.
Farnham flashed his hands while shouting “Plow plow!” and the two young men shared a laugh.
Morton, 22, who moved into Farnham’s mother’s house after a dispute with his mother, is one of many Juggalos who have Farnham’s back in this quest.
“That’s my boy! Fareezy gonna get us paid, yo,” Morton stated from behind a glaze of white and orange facepaint.
Farnham on the other hand, is less worried about the money as he is his Juggalo kindred.
“Shit’s been whack, yo,” Farnham said solemnly, making a fist and bowing his head. “Fam’s been dropping like flies, there’s lots of bad shit going around when we gather the fam together.”
“I got to stop this madness, end all this badness, because when all the family’s gone all I’ll have is sadness. I can’t have this,” the young man said, and dabbed a tear from the corner of his eye, leaving a patch of flesh exposed from beneath his greasepaint.
The theme of drug addiction and the resurgence of heroin within communities like the Juggalo Family has been uncomfortably real to young men like Farnham, who has watched several members of his Juggalo Family succumb to overdoses. The issue got a spotlight during the 2016 Presidential Debates, with notable an diverse propositions from candidates like Rand Paul, Chris Christie, Gary Johnson, and Bernie Sanders. Farnham determined that the Juggalo Family has been particularly hard hit because there is no abundance of educated brothers or sisters who could offer advice or draw up community solutions until Farnham came up with his “clean up the supply” idea.
“Fareezy say he gonna save the whole family,” Morton observed. “It’s wild, yo. No one ever thought that if we had just one educated Juggalo, we could save all these Juggahoes. Reezy’s a genius to come up with this shit. I mean, he working at it now, he reading every night and shit. He the first Juggalo I ever seen who read something without titties in it.”
Asked if speaking to the rest of the Family about higher education or reduction of drug use as a means of reducing overdose deaths was a realistic option, Farnham pulled a contemplative look over his face and folded his hands across his chest. Closing his eyes, he drew in a deep breath and sighed, “I don’t tell you how to live, nigga.”
At press time, Farnham was scouring the web looking for a safe way for he and his Juggalo Family to snort Comet Cleaner.
“If I’m going to be the smartest Juggalo in the Family, there’s no better time to start putting it to use than now. Whoop whoop!”

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