Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced plans this morning to build a wall on the US-Canada border.
“We have to start thinking about the number of Americans who are flooding or will flood across the border,” Trudeau said in front of a press gathering.
“These Americans will inevitably constrain our resources. They’re going to flood our medical system, our welfare systems, and as proud Canadians, we cannot let this happen. Our responsibility is Canadians first!”
Trudeau’s statement comes just hours after Republican Donald J. Trump was elected to serve as the United States’ 45th president, succeeding Barack Obama. The election results prompted Americans to research Canadian immigration at such a furious pace that it caused the nations immigration website to crash.
“It’s reasonable to assume that if they can’t get here legally, they’ll take matters into their own hands. And we cannot expect that America will send its best,” Trudeau emphasized in the statement. “They’ll send their unemployed, some basement dwellers, people who generally have their hands out waiting for government to provide them with a posh lifestyle and free video games. They’ll send both the impolite and the self-centered. We can’t have it, folks. It’s time to say enough is enough.”
When asked how soon the wall could be brought under construction, Trudeau insisted that “it can’t be soon enough”, and detailed a plan to send armed security to the border to “take care of things until we have this thing at least 15 feet high, with a moat and vicious animals floating about in it.”